Hi everyone out there in cyberspace! My name is Ashley and I am writing this blog to help motivate myself to fulfill my dreams for life and not give up on them. I am 22 years old and am married to a wonderful man named Dexter. I have a 2 year old little girl named Riley and am 34 weeks pregnant with a little boy who will be named Tristan. I was really stricken to write this blog listening to Pastor Steven at Elevation Church this past weekend. His sermon was about where dreams die and it got me really thinking about all of things I had planned for my life that never happened. I've let myself come up with a lot of excuses, but I am stopping this now. I have 2 immeadiate dreams that I wish to start on and another dream that I will be working on in the near future.
I want to start writing again. When I was in second grade I started writing short stories and found a passion. I loved to write. I took writing classes all through high school and have a collection of unfinished manuscripts just sitting in boxes. And when I say collection, I mean 30-40 notebooks full of short stories, half-finished novels and character sheets. I was convinced I'd be published by this point in my life. But I'm not...I'm not even close. I stopped writing shortly after graduating high and kept coming up with reasons not to write again. I have blamed everything from my pregnancies to having a baby around to working full time.
I want to make jewelry. I took a crafts class in high school where I learned some jewelry techniques and fell in love with jewelry making. It doesn't matter what medium - hemp, beading, fabrication, casting, metal stamping, you name it. I had found a couple of classes that I could take to learn more and had even found a place in the mountains that offered a two week crash course with unlimited supplies to work with. But I found an excuse not to go (I don't even remember what that excuse was now!) and stopped making things. I still made some here and there for gifts for people when I was short on cash, but nothing like I had planned to do.
My long term goal is to go back to school and get a degree. Ideally I would be able to support myself from writing and selling jewelry, but I know that may take a while and I'd like to have a back-up plan. The problem is I can't decide on what I want to do! Everything that is practical seems boring to me after a while. I want something that I can see myself doing for a long time, and can't seem to figure out anything other than writing or jewelry making. I thought about teaching (I got discouraged from all the budget cuts in my area), being a vet (I don't really want to go to 8 years of school), nursing (I'm not sure I want to do that forever), and anthropology/art history (but I'd really only want to work in a museum and that's hard to get into). As you can see, I have an excuse for everything. But I at least need to get started on some general education classes while I figure it out. I got a huge wake-up call the other day when I realized that most of the people I went to high school with are graduating college this year - and I haven't even started. It makes me so sad to think about and I need to get my butt in gear.
I need to do these things for me and for my children. I want to be an example to them and I want to show them how to live life to the fullest and be motivated. I want to be a good wife and a good mother, but also be successful in a career as well. So hopefully you will continue reading and leave feedback as you catch a glimpse into my life, and help me with my journey. I have a feeling this will not be easy, but I feel it's necessary for me to feel good about myself. I need to push myself and not be lazy. I can't let my dreams die before they have even begun.
